Keepin on.

I've been so busy in the last couple weeks and even managed to squeeze in a few days vacation to my new favorite place... San Antonio, Texas! But I walked and walked so much every day and only ate meals, no snacking I lost weight! I was 150 when I left and now that I'm back home and sticking to a diet I was 144 this morning! Just checking in!

Starting Out

     So I weighed and measured myself this morning. Here are my starting stats:
Weight- 147.8 lbs.
Waist- 27.5"
Hips- 40"
Body fat- approx. 26%
 
 And I also took the liberty of taking my before picture at the gym today and here it is.... Notice, I was not smiling. This is extremely embarrassing but whatever.

     Now since that part is over I can go forward. Obviously I have problem areas. Note: just realized my hips are as wide as my shoulders! 

     I ate pretty good today. Back on myfitnesspal and finished the whole day! I realized that even when I was watching what I ate, my sugar consumption is WAY too high. Like, almost double what I should be eating. I knew this was a problem but didn't realize how bad. It's not that I'm eating cookies and cake but I eat a lot of fruit. Everything else was pretty close (except carbs) but my sugar was WAY high. So tomorrow, I am going to have a low sugar day. Instead of eating a whole apple with breakfast, I'll eat half the apple and save the other half for later! 

     The other problem, I am not eating enough carbs. I did snack a little bit today and most of those carbs came from those junk foods. So tomorrow I will get in some more carbs also! Gotta get those levels right. 

     I went to they gym and did the elliptical before the athletic training class I take. I burned approximately 650 calories at the gym and it felt good! Going again tomorrow!

     Are you trying to lose weight and be healthier too? 

That Alarming Number

     Ladies, I'm talking to you. I know I'm not supposed to live by the scale but I weigh daily. Morning and night. I don't let the number affect me as much anymore but tonight... it did. I have been floating around 145 for about 1.5 years now. Well that number fluctuates between 143-147. I don't think much of it.
     Tonight, that number read 149.2. I just stood there for a minute. So mad, so angry and so relieved I didn't see 150 on that scale. Yikes. Talk about a shocker for me! I had started my morning with adding my breakfast calories to myfitnesspal.  And then I quit. I started thinking back on what I could have eaten/drank to make my weight go up like that. It was a pretty big shocker when I realized what my calories consumed for the day was.
     Time to get back to it. Hitting it hard from now on. I can not fail and I do not want to see 150 on that scale.
     My goal is to lose at least 1 lb. a week. How many weeks? No idea. But 1 lb a week is totally doable. I'm going to plan on doing a gym athletic training class 3-4x a week, cardio 2x a week and my Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 to fill in any blanks. Who's with me? I am on myfitnesspal: kfarnham9 and will be checking in here a lot too.

Tutorial: Simple Watermark in Lightroom4

     I just learned a few days ago how to add a simple watermark onto my photo's from LR4. And believe it or not, it is super simple. So I took a few screen shots and hopefully this will help a few people out. I know that seeing it step by step for me really would have helped me out instead of watching a youtube video! Here ya go.

This is an edited picture that is unsaved, which I will be saving, watermarking and exporting.
Step 1: >File
               >Export     

Step 2: This is where you choose what file/folder you want to send the saved version of the picture to. DO NOT hit export yet. Scroll down where you will find.... 

Step 3: You've scrolled down from choosing where to export your picture to, and you're seeing the option 'watermarking'. Check it and hit the "up/down" looking button beside that option where you will find the screen that just popped up. Yours will be void of all the "KFP" options I have because I have gone in and preset mine so it's a simple click from the screen you're at now. 

     Click "Edit Watermarks..."

Step 4: Make it your own. On the right hand of the box is where you can choose font/opacity/offset... etc. Play around with it. When you have what you want, hit done and it will prompt you to save your watermark. I have mine saved as "KFP bottom left" and others I have are "KFP bottom left white". 

Step 5: Hit export and go find your newly watermarked photo in it's specified folder and enjoy! 

Hope this helped somebody out! :) Any problems or tips, just email me. I'm really new at all this! 

Thanks!

ARGHH.

     ARGHH. That is how I feel right now. I have been eating damn near close to PERFECT and exercising every day. I haven't eaten out and I haven't eaten late. I have been drinking a ton of water and cut back on caffeine a ton. I have not lost ONE pound. My pants still feel as tight(er) as they did almost a week ago. Talk about frustrating. What I wanted to do was to stuff my face. But luckily, I couldn't, because I quit buying snack foods. Thank goodness. 

     This past week I have done the Ripped in 30 a few days, took a rest day (still watched my calories) and then the elliptical today. I've been eating a lot of smoothies, salads and really limited my bread intake. Maybe I'm eating too little? I don't know. I eat when I'm hungry. I think I will start counting calories again to make sure I am getting enough. My smoothies are loaded with calories (from fruit, yogurt, whole milk, orange juice) and my salads have protein on them (turkey/ham slices, uncured pepperoni). I'm extremely frustrated. Not discouraged. I just need to figure out what I'm doing wrong and fix it. 

     Want to know something funny? I put on my jeans (they were tighter than normal because I washed them. Holllaaaa to all ya'll who wear your jeans 4 or more times before washing). Anyways, I pulled out my skinniest pair of jeans and threw them on the bed. Just to torture myself I guess. I walked out of the room and when I walked back in I immediately thought "When did I buy those pants for Jackson?". My three year old. The pants looked so small to me, that they must NOT be mine. Whoa. That really put it into perspective for me. I need to do more. I need to really figure out what's going on because I SHOULD be losing weight. At least .1 lbs. At least. And I don't need to hear some bull crap about "building muscle". Because I can't tell a difference and my pushups are still as weak as a week or more ago. 

     And what am I going to blame this on? I'm going to blame it on the lack of sleep I've been giving myself. 5-6 hours a night isn't going to cut it and I know how important sleep is when you're trying to lose weight so I'm going to bed in T-minus 10 minutes. 

      So, tomorrow I will be counting my calories. I do it on myfitnesspal.com and my username is kfarnham9. Find me and help me be accountable. And also, I'm going to start running outside again. Maybe pair it with my Ripped in 30 DVD if I'm feeling lofty. 

     Anybody else feel like you're in a rut? What do you do to get out of it?! 

     Another problem I have is with meeting new people. I am really shy and hold back. I think I mentioned that in a previous post. My daughter had her first ballet class today. I felt awkward at first in the waiting room with the other mom's but in the short 45 minutes we were there I talked with a couple of the other mom's. And in my "normal" voice. ;) You know what I'm talking about, when you talk with the lady at the bank you use a different voice than when you're talking with your husband. I tend to do that with most people when I feel uncomfortable/nervous/shy. But today, I didn't hold back and even asked questions in conversation. 

Caralee practicing the day before her dance class. She LOVES it. 

And just to be fair. Here's a sweet picture I took of Jackson today. 

     

     

Off My Wagon

139 and I am FINE WITH THAT! (yes, I wear that cardi multiple times a week)

    So, Sammy works out of town and when he comes back in town, I get out of my routine. Which is fine. I struggle for a day with not being the main boss of the house but then it's all good. But, we eat out. A lot. Because he doesn't get to eat good food at work and because we both just like to eat. And I like using his week(s) at home as an excuse to relax, go out to eat and just hang out. I definitely have the time to workout and make good decisions when he is home but I choose not to. So we go to Olive Garden at lunchtime when Jackson is at school and eat (even if I just eat a soup/salad, those damn breadsticks get to me). 

    I am gonna be real honest with ya. I am off my own wagon. I didn't just fall off, I fell off, got ran over and it left me 6 miles behind. I don't think I've stepped on the scale in days because I already know I haven't lost any weight. I haven't worked out in DAYS. I have gone to Wild Wings TWICE in like, a week. I ate chicken wings on the bone. And I love their sweet tater fries. And I eat the whole basket while I'm sipping on sweet tea. I have no shame. That place is good. 

     I have been more careful about what I eat when I know I'm not going to work out. If I know I'm going to eat out that night, I usually just eat a smoothie for breakfast and a salad for lunch and PIG OUT for dinner. When Caralee and I stopped for lunch, we split a 1/2 salad 1/2 sandwich deal. I don't know if this is me trying to justify my eating/not working out but whatever. It helps me sleep at night. Extra roll and all.
     So, now I'm ready to quit being lazy about my exercising and get back to it. HAHAHAAA <-- I actually '"lol'ed" when I thought about my goal of 133 by Valentine's Day. I am not going to be anywhere CLOSE to that. And you know what? That's okay. Not a big deal. Because I am learning to be happy with me, no matter what I look like. And being 7 lbs. over my goal is NOT the end of the world. I have been there, where all I could think about was losing weight. It consumed me and ruined many days. When I stepped on the scale and cried because it wasn't where I wanted to be. Where I was grumpy to my family because I was unhappy of my appearance. And I wish I could go back and tell myself that it is all part of the journey. There will be pauses, you will get off track and be mad because you want instant gratification. But just stop, get your fat pants on, smile and try again. You only really fail if you don't try. And pausing and getting off track is not failing. It's just part of your journey. So enjoy those hot wings, sweet tater fries and drink that sweet tea. And try again at your next meal.
     This is the first time that I have "paused" on my journey and been 100% okay with it. I don't feel like a failure. I just feel like a real person.
     So to make this short and sweet (and yes, I know you've heard this a million times), be happy with who you are. What you are at this minute is not going to change overnight, it takes time. Don't spend time being pissed about a number on a scale.
      **Confession: My biggest pig out was at a Thai Fusion restaurant. Yea, just imagine. Nom nom.

And just for funsies:

Jackson: being sweet so I will read his bedtime story

Caralee: having a pretend picnic

Sammy: my handsome hubby. :)

You can follow me on instagram: kfarnham9    for more pictures of all the cuties above. And food pictures. 

Fine

     Fine. The word fine is frustrating. Women, when you ask your husband how you look and he replies "fine".... what do you do? Me, I get back in that closet and find something else (actually, I do that anyway). Men, when you ask your wife, "honey, what's wrong?" and she replies, "nothing, I'm fine". You should know that everything is NOT FINE.
     Well today (after a night of no sleep) I looked at the mirror and said "ehh, I don't need to work-out today, I look fine." It hit me then. I don't want things to be FINE. I want them to be great and fine is just a cop out for settling for something that is less than what I can do and be. I don't want my life to be fine. I want things to be great. I want to be a great wife, mom, and person. I want to do great things. I want to be successful. I want to feel driven to do something more. I want to feel confident and not just in the way I look. But also in the person I am, who I feel like I am and things I want to do with my life. I don't know why I hold back. Ex. If I want to ask somebody to come have a playdate with the kids and I. I DON'T ASK. And then I pout to Sammy because I don't have friends. When I am around people, I hold back. I feel less than confident and it makes me awkward. When I want to approach somebody I don't know, I don't. But I want to. I mean really, if I am only worried about failing, I would be in the same boat I am in now. So I think that trying and failing would be a lot better than not trying at all. I think I could surprise myself.
     Now, I am not unhappy with my life at all. I love my life. But I know I could be more and I think that not trying will ultimately make me unhappy. I will look at the things other people do with their life and be jealous. But I don't have the right to be jealous if I haven't even tried to do it for myself.
     This applies to all areas of my life. And probably at least in one way for yours too. And if it doesn't, and you're perfect, congratulations.
     Weight-loss, when I am over-weight I will notice a fit person and feel self conscious. But when I am TRYING, I don't really notice anybody else. Because when I know I am doing what I need to do, that is all that matters and that makes me feel confident.
     My kids. When I take the time to "hear" them. When I let them feel bigger than me. When I stop being the "leader" and I let them teach me. It makes me feel good and makes them feel even better. Even if it something small like them telling me what to paint on their picture or let them chase me in the woods or smell their stinky feet. Lately I have been doing this more and it is helping everything. With Sammy away for work I sometimes fall into the roll of being extra strict. I don't like it, they don't like. Sometimes they still need that though.
     Sammy. When I quit doubting/blaming myself for little things, I realized that he didn't doubt or blame me at all. Sometimes, I do things that are annoying. *Shocking* and he calls me out on it. *I'm so glad he does!* Before I got straight with myself I would blame him because I was embarrassed about being blamed and blah blah blah, I would make nothing into a thing. Now, I still get embarrassed but instead I don't blame anybody. I think "yea, that was annoying, but that's all it was." And then we may chuckle at it and I go on about my day not thinking about it again.
     My house. I like a clean house. Not spotless. When it isn't clean, I doubt myself. When I lay down at night, I think about all I "should have" done and I get down on myself. But when I just DO IT and keep it clean, I actually have more time to surf the internet, do my crafts, go shopping, watch a movie without feeling bad at all. I currently have a load of laundry on my bed but I don't feel bad about it all. My house isn't ever "dirty", it's always just been "fine". But that is not good enough for me. It's a cop out to what I can do and what I can organize and there is always something I can do around here.
     I don't want to be perfect. I don't strive to be the best. I will mess up in one area of my life on a daily basis I'm sure. I will eat a bag of chips, knowing that the apple on the counter is better. I will hush the kids instead of listening so we can get something done quickly and efficiently and I will make nothing into a thing (even if it just for a few minutes) with Sammy. I will leave a load of laundry sitting on the couch or the bed more than once a week and I will be awkward in a crowd or when I don't want to be. But, I don't want those things to be what I feel like defines me. I want my life, my health, my kids, my relationships, my success to be more than fine. I want them to be great.


    Now if you're still with me, I will briefly say what I've done the past few days in regards to working out/eating.
Friday: I forgot my nephew's birthday party was right at my workout time. I did that work out early and went light on a small bite of cake and ice cream. Soon after though, I chowed down on some cheese puffs and doritos. Then Smarties. Yum.
Saturday: My day of rest. Took the kids to a roller skating party (FUN). Ate a piece of pizza and Caralee's crust (the best part) and then went home and ate a smoothie for dinner.

It was all fun and games until Jackson realized that he had on "little skates" and he wanted the big ones so he could go fast. Poor guy, he tried so hard to go fast and fell so many times. Ultimately, he ended up so cranky that he wasn't the best that we had to leave. It was sweet to see how hard he tried. 

Sunday: Woke up in the 130's because of my day of rest and had a good day. That evening, Caralee and Jackson wanted sandwiches for dinner. I make homemade bread and my last batch was the best ever so I figured I'd eat a sandwich (hold all the condiments and cheese) and work it off with the Ripped in 30 DVD. Then, devastation struck as my DVD player held the DVD hostage. I didn't really try to hard to get it out and did 30 minutes on the elliptical working off 375 calories.
Monday: Tired, exhausted after helping Jackson control his asthma all day and didn't "wake up" until almost 10:30. Ate a handful of this and that (read: chips, Reese Puff cereal and marshmallows).  Ate a tiny sandwich and a sweet potato. Then for dinner had a small bowl of chicken noodle soup. Then banged out that work-out on level 3. My arms are hating me right now. Still waking up at 140. Arghh. I know, it's just a number but it really annoys me. Can I just wake up and be 133 tomorrow, please.

Overcoming Challenges

     Ya'll... I did it... I SKIPPED my late night post dinner, post workout fat snack. After I put the wild one's to bed around 8-8:30 I settle in on the recliner, turn on the TV and drink a cup of coffee and my favorite chocolate granola bar. Tonight, I settled in and picked up my bar and didn't eat it. I got up and put it back in the pantry. I almost ate it because I told myself I was just going to get up later and get it anyway. But it's an hour later and I do not want it. I made a cup of apple cider and drank a ton of water.  This is when I get motivated to get in shape. When I resist something I love because I'd rather be in shape. I also did not have any sweet tea or diet pepsi today.
 
   I ellipticalled for the first two days. Then for the past three days I have moved back to the Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 DVD. I love this DVD, can not say enough good things about it and have had really awesome results. It's shorter than the time spent on the elliptical, it works the whole body and Jackson and Caralee join in on the working out. If anybody wants to do the DVD with me, I have room for more people to workout and I will be doing it every evening around 7! Today I did level 3. My legs and arms are dying right now. By the end of the 20 minutes my arms were shaking doing sissy pushups  and my legs were shaking with every squat. It felt awesome. It really made me wish I hadn't of stuffed my face with dinner. It would have been a lot easier with less in my belly. Losing weight would be a lot easier if I was a bad cook. Below is my dinner.


     I had a serving of pork loin from the grill, rice, tomatoes, sweet potato (yes, with bad for you butter and brown sugar). And my fruit, which is on a MUCH smaller plate than dinner is just strawberries, pineapple and a little bit of banana. Yum. Breakfast was a smoothie. Lunch was a salad with turkey pepperoni and two pieces of thin sliced ham. I always skip salad dressing. But only because I hate all salad dressing aside from the oil and vinegar on the salad from Olive Garden. But that is it.      I also took my before pictures today. I never take them before I start losing weight. I always wait a week so I will actually be okay with looking at them later.        I had so much more energy and patience today. I am sleeping better and my fat jeans are not as tight. I know it's only been almost a week but I'm feeling better all around.      I ran into somebody the other day that I went to high school with who reads my blog sometimes. I was really glad to be stuffing my face with salad when she saw me instead of a big ole sandwich or burger or something! haha!! To know that I may be motivating somebody/anybody, motivates me. Yes, I want to feel better about myself for me, but it always is encouraging to hear it from somebody else. I know how draining it is on your self esteem and moods when you are unhappy with your body and I know how rewarding it is to feel good in your little sister's jeans. Transforming yourself is something to be proud of, it's hard. 

Kids Art Display

And my most recent pinterest project. Sammy isn't crazy about it but I LOVE IT. The kids love it and it was my first project where I went to the lumber part of Lowe's. I measured, I sanded and then I measured and marked to hang these things up. I even used a level. BIG DEAL. Directions found here. 

TIP:When needing to mark places on the wall, just dot it with an eyeliner pencil, it wipes right off afterwards if you need to move your mark. 

    

Karma

     I do believe in karma. Today my good karma came when I decided to quit being lazy and do my workout. I was going to wait until 8 p.m. to workout because I thought maybe I'd catch a good TV show. I had my workout clothes on at 4 p.m. and just made excuses with cleaning to not work out until 6:30 p.m. rolled around. I went out to the garage, jumped on the elliptical and turned on the TV. NCIS was on.... it was a special episode with the cast of NCIS: LA (The ladies really do love Cool J) as part of their team. My two favorite shows meshed together, just for me, as a way to congratulate me for not procrastinating. I busted out a 30 minute session/3.2 miles/365 calories burned. That was the first time I have ellipticalled since we moved back to SC, 7/8 months ago. It felt good and I'm excited to do it again tomorrow.

**Truth: The only real reason I worked out is so I wouldn't have to write "well, I didn't workout again today". <--Sammy called me out on that earlier. Haha** Accountability. Find somebody who will keep you straight. Whether it be a friend or a blog that you write so some stranger knows whether you're getting your workout on or not. That's why I do it.

Before: Ready to do it.

After: Exhausted with two cute photobombers who were super excited I was taking a picture. 

    Meal Breakfast: Caramel Nut Granola Bar- Because I was lazy, late and didn't feel like actually making something to eat.
     Meal Lunch: Mom made homemade turkey soup, it was SO good. I had two small bowls of it and went light on the cheese/crackers.
     Meal After Lunch: Mom had made truffles.... MmmMM! Recipe is found here. I ate one and it was worth it. Then I ate a piece and a half of her homemade fudge with sea salt on top. Worth it again.
     Meal Dinner: My smoothie and an apple.
     Meal After Dinner/Workout: Caramel Nut Granola Bar, an apple and a handful of mixed nuts.
*Only drank water and black coffee all day. Skipped the sweet tea and diet pepsi!!
     So, looking back at this, I realize how much I love chocolate and how I really have no will power around it. I am happy with how I did today and I think I did good. Very glad I finally just "did" the workout that I have been dreading for a couple months now. Tomorrow my goal is to eat three REAL meals of 250+ calories and two to three snacks of fruit or something like that. Only water and at least a 30 minute elliptical session!
 

 

Procrastinator

     We all do it, say we're going to start something and then NOT do it on time. I am a procrastinator, a big one. I have procrastinated on this losing weight thing already. I didn't work out at all today and I'm not going to. I will do squats while I fold three loads of laundry tonight but that's it. THREE loads of laundry... I am a for real procrastinator. But something is better than nothing. I did some serious cleaning today and scrubbed bathtubs/showers and also finished up my wall painting. I didn't have a spare moment and didn't even get to watch one episode of NCIS today. And I am addicted to that show.
     Meal Breakfast: I ate a smoothie. Which is what I usually eat. I eat it the same way, every day.
1/2 banana
1" round slice of pineapple
4 strawberries
1/4-1/2 cup vanilla low fat yogurt
1/2 cup skim milk
1/2 cup orange juice
and however much ice it takes.
Then I finish it off with a hot cup of black coffee and cuddled up in a blanket on the couch while I shiver and shake the smoothie off. I normally will eat a peanut butter, chocolate granola bar with my coffee but I skipped it today.
     Meal Lunch: Well I usually like to eat a hot panini sandwich, either egg, bacon and cheese or ham/turkey pepperoni and cheese. Today I ate a salad and fruit. A big ole leafy green, all the extra veggies and half a serving of turkey pepperoni and two thinly sliced pieces of turkey. Salt and pepper and yummy. Then my dessert was an orange and some strawberries.
     Meal Snack: I split the granola bar three ways and had about 50 calories worth of it and another orange.
     Meal Dinner: I made pizza. And it was GOOD and I also have no regrets. I also enjoyed a little bowl of homemade salsa and chips (chips not homemade). The kids ate turkey pepperoni with cheddar/mozzarella. I made my own corner (and have left overs) of a little bit of cheese,  a couple pepperoni's, green/red pepper, sliced tomato, spinach, onion and basil. Delish. I used The Pioneer Woman's pizza dough recipe and will probably use it every time I make pizza. Found here.

Looks ugly, taste delish. 

     Meal After Dinner: Well there is this little drinky drink I like to make. It goes like this, flavored vanilla or caramel or just plain hot chocolate, mocha iced coffee and a splash of Bailey's. When I want to be really fat, I load the top full of mini marshmallows. To make it a skinny version I just use plain black coffee (medium roast Hazelnut is the best for this) instead of hot chocolate. And I skip the marshmallows. I told Sammy I was going to make one and he said "those are pretty fattening". I of course denied it. No way that iced coffee and Bailey's Cream was fattening. Psh, what does he know ;)  Knowing he was right I decided to make my skinny one tonight in spite of his rightness. About 1/3 of the way through it I decided to pour it out and drink my water. Lame, I better be skinnier for it in the morning.
     Meal After After Dinner: An orange.

All in all, I am pleased with how I did today. Definitely getting on the right track.

Time to Lose the Poundage

     Dun dun dun. There aren't any holiday parties coming up. I have ran out of excuses to eat junk food. Time to face the truth. I have gained 7-9lbs and two inches since October. Why October? That's when I let loose, it's birthday month in the family. Between the last of September and the last of October there are four birthdays. Then Thanksgiving, then four Christmas's, then football games, then New Years and I have only worked out a handful of times since then.
     Yikes. I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 140. Not the numbers I like to see at all. But I looked away, painted on my fat jeans and went about my day.

    Reasons I want to lose weight (yea yea, I know I'm "fine" how I am). 

1. I loaned my sister a pair of new jeans I fit into ONCE and I'd really like them back.
2. Target just put swimsuits out. I walked by them pretending not to look at them yesterday. I felt pretty embarassed.
3. Because I like being/looking/feeling skinny.
4. I like being able to wear all my clothes and not just a certain few things that make me look better than I am.
     My plan: I'm going to count calories. Try my best to skip out on bread. Ditch the chips/salty things. I will go back to eating off my skinny menu. Basically, to keep it easy I eat pretty much the same thing every day. I don't mind at all. I like it that way. Skip tea and soda's, just stick with water. Exercise. I will alternate the elliptical and Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred or her Ripped in 30 (because that workout really works). What ever exercise I do will be 30 minutes a day or less. I hate exercising. Running? Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not. No way. I will walk.
     Also, I plan on doing the GM Diet again. Just to kick start myself. Still have to think about this one.
     Goal: By Valentine's Day I will be back to 133 lbs. and 26" waist. Time to do this. Tomorrow.... haha, for real though. I painted walls all evening. I will workout tomorrow. Ate really well today.
     
     133 lbs. (never actually worn this dress yet)           140 lbs. (ehh, not bad either ;)

   

The BEST Bread You Will Ever Make.

Butternut Squash Bread

180 calories/slice

Serves 12

     Ok, I am not even lying when I say this is the best bread ever. It is. I am pretty proud as I followed no recipe and just winged it totally. *my exclamation marks don't work or they wold be all over the place*.

      This needs to be made. Today. I can't even say anything else. 

Butternut Squash Bread

180 calories/slice

Serves 12

2 cups grated butternut squash

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

5 Tbs. Light I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

2 eggs

1/4 cup Dannon Light Vanilla Yogurt

1/4 cup Orange Juice- heavy pulp

2 cups Whole Wheat Flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 375. Grease a 9x5 pan. 

Mix flour, baking soda/powder, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. 

In a separate bowl mix butter, sugars, egg, yogurt, orange juice.

Mix the sugar mixture into the flour and fold in the grated butternut squash.

Bake for 45-50 minutes or until a knife comes out clean. Let sit for 5 minutes and transfer to a cookie rack to cool. 

**Cut into slices and freeze. Take out and heat in microwave for 10 minutes on each side- 20 seconds total. 

"Healthy" Banana Bread

"Healthy" Banana Bread

180 calories/serving

     Well my husband is home for two weeks and I have decided that I am really enjoying all the eating I have been doing. I haven't been going completely overboard but I am enjoying eating Mexican food and all the cheesy, ricey glory Mr. Salsa has! I haven't been exercising either so needless to say, I'm a little fluffy around the mid section this week. Not worried.... I will return to normal next week when I don't dare take the kids to eat by myself.
     Here is the recipe! I took the original recipe from Pinterest and tweaked it!

     And note***** My power went out halfway through cooking it for about 10 minutes so I am not 100% sure of the cook time. My expert opinion is the 45 minutes though! ENJOY!

"Healthy" Banana Bread
180 calories/serving
Serves 12

1/2 cup Light I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
3/4 cup Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
2 Medium-Large Overripe Bananas

2 cups Hodgson Whole Wheat Flour
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Salt
1/4 tsp Ground Nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350. Grease a 9x5 pan. Mix the butter, sugar, eggs and bananas together.

In a separate bowl mix the flour, soda, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg.

Mix together and pour into your pan.

Bake for approximately 45 minutes or until a knife comes out clean from the center.

Oilfield Women

Aundria and I

     One of the hardest things about living here is the friendships. The women that move in here with their husbands/fiances/boyfriends are awesome. The best women in the world come from the oilfield. That's the truth and I'm stickin' to it.  

     To follow the work and move around away from family is hard. And until you are more than a day's drive away your family and everyone/everything you love, you can't understand. The women who come up here are supportive. They obviously support their husbands, children, future, dreams and goals just in the fact of following into a life that would never be chosen. Is this the dream life? Heck no! And anybody who says it is, lies. And I don't like liars. Anyway, that support just overflows and spills into friendships. I have never had better friends than I do now. I trust these women with everything I have.

     These women are loyal. Even if you are enemies with one of their friends, they don't let that petty stuff come between your friendship with them. I respect that, you don't have to choose between friend A or B. It's not a clique. It's not about who is better. It's about being loyal to the women who are there and are the only ones who understand what you are going through on a daily basis. You think something is hard in your life? Well, I whined the other day about Sammy working nights and how it was "soooo hard". I look at one of my bestfriends... her husband works nights every single week. He has one full day off a week. I need to shut my mouth. I don't have it hard.

     I am confident that I am surrounded by ladies who would drop anything in a heartbeat if I were in trouble. Where if something happened to me or Sammy, they would dump what they were doing no matter where they were, what they were doing to care for my children. I love knowing my kids are going to be safe and my friends would treat my children just as well as if they were their own.

     These are just a few things. But what sucks about all these women? What is the biggest downfall to having the greatest friendships there are? Having to say good-bye. It's going to happen, to all of us. We all come from different places and all have plans of settling in different areas of the country.

     Tonight, I said good-bye to my first real friend since I moved to North Dakota. She is the sweetest, most out-going, kind, friendly, spontaneous, fun loving and awesome girl. She was always down for whatever. She didn't care. She was always smiling even when she is hurting/upset inside. I was driving by her old workplace this morning and it hit me... I may never see her again. As much as I want to, I just don't know. Our paths go in such opposite ways. And that makes me cry... really cry. I have tears right now. We didn't talk or hang out everyday but she was there. Always. We had so much fun this past summer and it's been an awesome time getting to know her. My favorite memory will always be stalking the Trace Adkins bus to find out what hotel he was staying at! :) My first concert ever. She is such a strong girl. I am so proud of her and so happy that she is doing what will ultimately make her the happiest. She has the opportunity to do ANYTHING with her life and I am just a teensy tiny bit jealous. I LOVE YOU SLAUNDRIA. I will never forget you and I can't wait to see all the awesome things you are about to do. No matter how long it takes you to get there.... procrastinator.

My Favorite Weightloss Tips

Dagum, check out those calves ;)

     I have a couple friends ask what I eat, what are some good pointers, what's the hardest part? And the most important: How to maintain?

What I Eat
I count calories on myfitnesspal.com. AWESOME FREE WEBSITE! USE IT. NO EXCUSES LAZY BUTT!


Breakfast:

• 3 egg whites scrambled with 1/4 cup fat free Cheddar cheese and a serving of oatmeal with  1/2 Tbs. natural, unprocessed honey to sweeten it with 1/2 cup frozen blueberries. (Total Calories: 310) 
• 2 egg whites scrambled with 1/4 cup fat free Cheddar cheese, chopped peppers, onion and spinach stuffed into a Kangaroo Whole Grain Pita Pocket. (Total Calories: 200)
• Serving of Whole Grain oatmeal with unprocessed honey and a bowl of fruit
• Caramel Greek Yogurt with a bowl of fruit

Lunch:

• 2 slices Village Hearth 12 Grain Light bread, 5 slices of thinly sliced Oscar Meyer Mesquite Turkey, tomatoes, onion, pickles and spinach.(Total Calories: 135)
• Grilled 1/2 Chicken Breast Salad with 1/4 cup fat free Cheddar Cheese, no dressing. (Total Calories: 230)

Snacks:

• Fruit!
• Veggies!
• Pretzels
• Goldfish
• Dark Chocolate
• Popcorn
• Yogurt
• 1/2 Grapefruit (usually eat 1.5 Grapefruits a day)

Dinner:

• 1/2 chicken breast grilled or baked, 1.5 cups steamed veggies and a sweet potato with 1 Tbs. of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light. (Total Calories: 350)
• 4 oz Rib-Eye Steak, 1.5 cups steamed veggies and a side salad, no dressing. (Total Calories: 280)
• Grilled Tilapia, 1.5 cups steamed veggies and a 1/2 baked red potato with 1 Tbs. Of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light. (Total Calories: 330)

Pointers

• Drink TONS of water. When you get bored with it, squeeze a lemon, lime, orange anything in it.
• If you are full after eating, wait 20 minutes. Studies show it takes that long for your body to feel full.
• NEVER skip breakfast.
• Research the food you are eating. Don't just see it's "low calorie" and choose it.
• Realize what portions are. You may think a chicken breast is a serving... cut that in half. A serving of meat should be the size of a deck or cards.
• When eating out, ask for a box when you ask for your drinks. As soon as your meal arrives, sort out your portion and put the rest in the box.
• Take it one meal at a time. If you over-eat for lunch don't think of it as a ruined day and you'll just "pick it up tomorrow". Take it as "I screwed up lunch but I can do it right for dinner!"
• Snacking, usually happens because you are bored. You're not really hungry, I promise. And if you want to snack, choose wisely! Carrots are good. I choose frozen fruit because they take a while to eat because you have to eat them one by one or **BRAIN FREEZE** and by the time you're done, you're full and your brain is done telling you to snack.
• Get off your butt. The hardest part to working out is actually starting it. I will put my DVD playing in the background and put my work out clothes on and say "Ok, I AM working out in 30 minutes". After the first 5 minutes, you will be more excited to do it.
• Find a work out you love and don't over-do it.
• Don't get all hardcore at the beginning. Take it slow and steady. <--That might just be the lazy in me talking.
• Do not set unrealistic goals.
• Set small goals, monthly or bi-weekly goals. That way, you will reach a goal and feel proud and it will make it a lot easier to keep going on.
• Oh, and my favorite tip. Get on pinterest and search "fitness", those skinny minny girls that pop up will make you want to work out!

Maintaining

• I am not the best person to ask because I am still in "weightloss" mode. Since I have JUST reached my goal, my mindset hasn't changed.
• What I plan to do is to just up my calories consumed to about 1500 a day and exercise daily. I am SO excited for spring, summer so I can get outside. I love walking and running outside is 'OK'. I am BURNT out from being inside and working out.

If you have any questions, just ask! kfarnham9@gmail.com or comment here! :)

GM Diet Failure

Starting Weight: 134.0
Morning of Day Two: 132.0
Morning of Day Three: 131.0
Morning of Day Four: 130.0

Day 4:
     Bananas and milk. Today you will eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. This will be combined with the special soup which may be eaten in limited quantities.
     Day Four, bananas, milk and soup sound the strangest and least desirable. You’re in for a surprise. You probably will not eat all the bananas allowed. But they are there for the potassium you have lost and the sodium you may have missed the past three days. You will notice a definite loss of desire for sweets. You will be surprised how easy this day will go.
-copied and pasted from http://health-heaven.tumblr.com/post/17089615944/what-do-you-think-of-gms-diet

     I was looking forward to Day Four. I love bananas and drink milk throughout the day on a regular basis. Then I realized I had to drink three glasses of milk. I usually sip it. After choking down the first glass I decided to go ahead and drink the other two so I didn't have to think about it again. It was pretty gross. I ate 6 bananas by 6 p.m. and instead of the soup I just ate a variety of the veggies that the soup called for.

     Then, I went over to a friends house for dinner. And I ate about 1/2 serving of chicken manicotti. I had PLANNED on eating just a salad but something came up and the girl bringing the salad wasn't sure if she could make it or not. About 10-15 minutes after I ate, my stomach started to hurt and I felt queasy. About an hour later I started to get really light headed and felt like I was going to be sick. Sure enough, I was sick. I for sure thought it was the diet. I felt terrible. I felt like I made my body unhealthy and sick and since I told people about it, they were doing the same! I was pretty upset. It turns out, it was just a 24 hour flu bug and my son had it as well. That's what happens when you go to playgroups 3-4 times a week! I quit the diet because I did not want to have the flu on tomato and beef day. Sick nasty.

     All in all, I will recommend this diet as a great cleanse and a way to rid your body of anything unnatural. I think if used correctly it could be a great jumpstart to a healthy way of losing weight. You learn during those days that your body doesn't NEED processed foods. All your body needs is natural foods. That's what they were made for. Sure, I missed my granola bars but my body doesn't need those to be healthy and is much better off without them.

     I will probably do the GM Diet again down the road and wish I could have finished the whole thing to see how I really felt. I felt awesome on Day 4 and can only imagine if I kept feeling great, what Day 7 would have been like.

      Now, I'm going to get up and eat some scrambled egg whites with spinach, peppers and onion and a bowl of oatmeal. I can't wait.

The GM Diet: Day 3

Starting Weight:                134.0
Morning of Day Two:        132.0
Morning of Day Three:     131.0

• I weigh in the morning before I eat/drink anything.

Day 3:
     A mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today.

     Day Three eliminates the potato because you get your carbohydrates from the fruits. You system is now prepared to start burning excess pounds. You will still have cravings which should start to diminish by day four.
-copied and pasted from http://health-heaven.tumblr.com/post/17089615944/what-do-you-think-of-gms-diet

     Yesterday was horrible. It was the hardest day. I was grumpy and I had this horrible after-taste of carrots in my mouth that made me want to choose to be hungry over eating. But I forced some veggies down anyway! This morning I felt great. My husband called and woke me up at 7 a.m. when he got off work (hard workin' man he is) and I had no reason to get out of bed before 9. I should have gone back to bed but I didn't. I didn't even stay in bed while I was on the phone! I love this getting out of bed when I wake up thing.

     For breakfast and lunch I ate ginormous bowls of frozen mango, pineapple, raspberries, blueberries and strawberries. For anybody up here in North Dakota, you know how hard it is to get any kind of good fresh fruit up in this place!

     I cheated. I ate almost 1/4 cup of Chex Mix. I feel horrible about it. So horrible in fact, that I stole a handful or two of unbuttered popcorn from my three year old. I am going to get on my elliptical tonight and burn 200 calories. Hopefully that will cancel that out :(   It probably won't and I've probably ruined this entire diet/cleanse but oh well. I guess my self control isn't where it should be. Is anybody perfect out there with food though? No. And if they say they are.... they are either an A. liar or B. a crazy person. Either way, they are people you want to steer clear of.

     For dinner I ate a plate full of steamed veggies. This included carrots, asparagus, yellow squash, cauliflower and red onion. I loved it. I was dreading it because I was still sick of the slimey bites I had the day before. But, I really enjoyed them. I enjoyed having choices today. How selfish are we these days!? I can't imagine living somewhere where you eat rats that were caught in the fields every. single. day. (watched on Discovery Channel). I will probably snack on some pineapple later.

     Today was awesome. I felt like a new person. I was positive, cheery and happy! I was less shy and more outgoing. I went to a play group I haven't gone to in forever. I didn't completely shut down and feel stupid. I felt a little out of place but that's always the case when going somewhere with new people or people you haven't been around in forever. I posted my experience and pictures onto myfitnesspal.com and got some awesome responses. I got a ton of messages expressing how I was an encouragment to them. It made me feel superb! I love feeling like I have "my own" inspiration instead of trying to find it in others. I think it's helping me finally find "who I am". I know who I am inside but have always been too insecure and afraid to show who I truly am. But this is probably also just knowing I have a great group of girlfriends who are nothing but supportive, kind and honest (hollaaaaaa girlfriends!!!!). And an awesome husband :)  I am loving this new life and I'm not sure where it's coming from but I do know that I no longer want to hide. I want to meet new people, talk to people, help people, just overall be a better person and encourage and support as many people as I can.

The GM Diet: Day 2

Starting Weight:           134.0
Morning of Day Two:   132.0

• I weight in the morning before I eat/drink anything.

DAY 2:
     All vegetables. You are encouraged to eat until you are stuffed with all the raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. There is no limit on the amount or type. For your complex carbohydrate, you will start day two with a large baked potato for breakfast. You may top the potato with one pat of butter.

Day Two starts with a fix of complex carbo-hydrates coupled with an oil dose. This is taken in the morning for energy and balance. The rest of day two consists of vegetables which are virtually calorie free and provide essential nutrients and fibre.
-copied and pasted from http://health-heaven.tumblr.com/post/17089615944/what-do-you-think-of-gms-diet

     Well by mid-evening yesterday I was craving the veggies. I didn't want to eat another bite of melon. And then here came the veggie day. I loved breakfast. I woke up an hour before my alarm just starving. I had a big ole bowl of steamed potato with pepper and a pat of butter.

Breakfast

    

      For lunch I steamed a mix of veggies. Carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and red onion (my favorite). It was the biggest plate of veggies I have ever eaten in my life and by the last bite I thought I was going to gag and I never wanted to see another veggie again. I wanted a steak. Actually, I still do. For dinner I plan on eating a salad full of veggies. I have been eating carrots and celery anytime I feel hungry. Oh yea, I cheated at playgroup. I had TWO goldfish. They were amazing. I don't feel guilty. It was so worth it.

Lunch

      How do I feel? Hmm, I feel cleaner. I have had cramps pretty much all day and I feel weak. And my brain feels fuzzy. These are some of the side effects though. I realized that this is a lot more than a "diet". Well, maybe I am just reaching for something deeper but this morning when I woke up an hour early, I got straight up. I didn't just lay in bed and surf the internet like I do every morning. I didn't feel sleepy at all. I'm pretty sure my hungry stomach would have beat me up if I had tried to lay in bed though. I got up, steamed my potato while I did my hair and makeup. After I ate, I cleaned. What!? I NEVER even think of cleaning before noon. We had to leave at 9 am to go to playgroup and by 8:15 I was just kinda wondering the house looking for something to do. The kids were ready and I was ready. Weird. I am usually scrambling out the door, fussing at the kids to get their butts in gear. I felt productive and positive.

      I feel ridiculous because I feel like I am constantly "talking to myself" in my head. Yesterday I was like "Ok self, just eat this last bite of mango. Just do it. Tomorrow is veggie day, easy peasy". And today I'm thinking "Ughhh, I don't want anymore veggies, I just want some pineapple!". I am not starving myself and anytime I am hungry, I eat. It's just mind over matter. It's me being spoiled with having a choice of foods to eat and not always choosing the best option. It's my habits telling me to just eat that bite of granola bar, it's not going to hurt anything. But I DON'T NEED that granola bar. It is not going to nurture my body anymore than the things this diet require. I don't need it. I just want it. I WANT foods that are bad for me but they are not going to help me at all. Anything I need to survive and live on is in this diet. Anything outside of that is just extra, unnecessary foods. Now, I'm not being all stuck up about it because when I am done with this diet I will go back to eating how I always do. I eat ice cream, but in healthy portions. I will have a bite of granola bar, but won't down 2 of them. I am able to "maintain" a weight for months. I am doing this diet to get me down to the point of where I want to maintain.

      This is hard to write because I feel so fuzzy and if part of it doesn't make sense, oh well. It's all part of the experiment.

What Weightloss Looks Like!

188 lbs.

155 lbs.

145 lbs.

134 lbs.

      It shows in the pictures in all ways. Bigger smile, standing up straighter and just overall more confidence. If I can do it, so can you! 

The GM Diet: Day 1

Before: 134.0 lbs.

     GM (General Motors) created this diet in 1985 to motivate and help to get/keep their employees in shape. It's a "fad diet" and I have never done one of these as I really don't believe in diets. However, I have 5-10 more pounds until my absolute goal weight and every day the number on the scale taunts me. So, I am doing this as a kick start. And.... because I am too lazy to work out super hard to get it off. I like to walk. I am tired of working out. If I lose 3 pounds, I will be 100% satisfied.

  DAY 1:
     All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a loupe. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.
- copied and pasted from http://health-heaven.tumblr.com/post/17089615944/what-do-you-think-of-gms-diet

     I love fruit. I love fresh, frozen, canned, dried and baked fruit. But ONLY eating fruit today was HARD! Really hard. When I give Jackson his granola bar I usually take a big bite out of it. Today I raised that granola bar to my mouth and remembered *gasp*, no nibble of granola bars for a week. I don't know if I can survive. I did have a teaspoon bite of vanilla ice cream. I know, I should re-start my entire diet but whatev. I've eaten an entire melon, an apple, 1/2 bag of frozen mango, 1/2 bag of frozen pineapple, 4/5 cups of frozen blueberries, a cup of frozen raspberries and 1/2 carton of strawberries. When I feel hungry, I grab a bottle of water and drink it. That holds the hunger off. And if I'm tired of the water, I drink black coffee.

     How do I feel? I feel great. I feel motivated and I can't WAIT until tomorrow morning when I get to steam that potato. Seriously though, I feel healthier. Looking in the mirror, there was an obvious lack of bloating. I don't feel like I'm starving my body of anything or missing out on anything. Sure, I would rather eat a pita pocket but that pita pocket is going to be there in a week when I finish this. I'm well aware that these diets work, and I have researched this one and have seen very good results. But, the hardest part will be to keep those pounds off. That's where I feel like I'm ahead of the game. I have had over a year to work on my eating habits and to know what it is good for my body. I have the will power to Just Say No to food. Besides, I haven't seen 12_ since I was probably in 5th grade. If I see a 2 as that middle number on the scale, I will flip.

    Excited to see what tomorrow holds and hopefully I can Just Say No to those yummy Goldfish at the kids' playgroup tomorrow! My weakness.

Started this diet at 134.0 lbs. At the end of the 7 days I will take a picture in the same place, same outfit to see if there is any noticeable differences.